At the beginning of a relationship, people often strive to make a great impression, sometimes going out of their way to appear perfect. Fueled by emotions, love, butterflies, and rose-colored glasses, it's easy to overlook certain behaviors, believing that everything will eventually be fine and thinking, "I'll change myself for the better." However, the notion that "they will change for me" is one of the biggest misconceptions. Yet, many women continue to make the same mistakes, ignoring serious early warning signs. Here are ten red flags to be aware of before it's too late:
1. Expecting You to Serve
Despite modern advancements, some still view women as unpaid labor. The idea of marriage for the sake of having someone to iron shirts, wash socks, clean floors, and prepare elaborate dinners is more common than you might think. The worst scenario is when a man has never lived alone and has no idea about household chores. If he inherently sees women as housekeepers and sincerely believes that this is their true and only purpose, it’s best to know this early on. A good test is to tell him you dislike or can’t cook.
2. “I’m the Man, I Decide”
Not everyone believes in gender equality, and each family has the right to decide how to build their relationships—who earns, who manages the home, who cares for the children. Some women might be comfortable with a man making all the decisions and may even dream of someone taking control. However, basic respect and consideration of a partner’s interests should never be absent. If his attitude is “as I say, so it will be,” that’s a form of abuse.
3. Raising His Voice and Screaming
Our society isn’t known for its tact and high culture. However, being yelled at is never normal, regardless of the context. If a man shouts at you, it’s a major red flag.
4. Disrespecting Others
They say if you want to know how a man will treat you, see how he treats his mother. More broadly, observe how he treats people in general, especially women. Racism, sexist jokes, discrimination, and intolerance are all serious issues. If he’s disrespectful to others, it’s unlikely he’ll treat you with lasting respect.
5. Not Taking You Seriously
Sometimes, despite love, one person might look down on another, often belittling women’s interests and careers. Phrases like “oh, these women’s things” or “who even reads your work” indicate a lack of respect. Everyone’s work and interests deserve respect.
6. Excessive Control
Trust and personal space are crucial in any relationship. Pathological jealousy and the desire to control your every move are serious concerns. Checking your phone, mail, and social networks or dictating your wardrobe are major red flags.
7. Irritability and Impatience
Pay attention to how he interacts with others. If he gets easily annoyed with strangers or minor inconveniences, he might eventually direct that irritability towards you.
8. Greed
Pathological greed is often hard to hide. Someone excessively frugal from the beginning will likely remain so. If he balks at spending money on basic needs, consider how he’ll handle finances in the future, especially if you become financially dependent on him.
9. Irresponsibility
If he considers it normal to ignore calls or fail to keep promises without explanation or apology, think twice about building a serious relationship or planning a future with him.
10. Major Differences in Beliefs
While differing opinions on minor issues might not ruin a relationship, significant differences in core beliefs can be problematic. Views on child-rearing, healthcare, diet, and gender roles are crucial to long-term compatibility.
By staying vigilant and recognizing these warning signs early on, you can make more informed decisions about your relationship’s future. Remember, it’s better to address these issues sooner rather than later.