It’s no secret that many women, and men, often find themselves stuck in parent-like roles within their romantic relationships. This dynamic can undermine the equal footing necessary for true love to flourish. Let’s explore how to transition from a parental role to a partnership based on mutual respect and admiration.
The Problem with Playing "Mom"
Many women inadvertently fall into the "Mom" role, where they order, teach, and control their partners. Similarly, men can take on "Dad" roles, which are equally problematic. These dynamics create relationships that are more about power plays than genuine connection.
To truly love, partners must interact as equals. Here’s how to shift from a parental role to a balanced, loving relationship.
1. Admire Instead of Praise
Parents praise their children because children need validation and approval. However, partners need admiration, not praise. Praise implies judgment from a higher position, while admiration suggests equality. For example, instead of saying, "You drive excellently," say, "I love watching you drive." Instead of, "You’re so good at this," try, "I’m so lucky to have you."
2. Express Gratitude
In parental roles, responsibilities and obedience are expected. In adult relationships, nothing is owed by default. Every positive action your partner takes is voluntary and deserves gratitude. If he washes the dishes or takes care of the kids, thank him genuinely. Gratitude fosters mutual respect and appreciation.
3. Consult Each Other
Parents make decisions for their children without consulting them, but adult partners should consult each other on actions that affect both. This practice respects your partner’s autonomy and insights, and it often leads to better decision-making.
4. Let Him Do Things Himself
Parents do many things for their children because children lack the skills or knowledge to do them. However, adult partners are capable individuals. Avoid doing things for your partner that he can do himself. This doesn’t mean you should never help each other, but it does mean you shouldn’t take over his responsibilities.
Practical Steps to Transform Your Relationship
Conclusion
By moving away from parental roles and embracing a partnership of equals, you can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. Remember, the same principles apply to men as well—admire, thank, consult, and empower your partner to create a loving and balanced dynamic.
And that's all for now. Thank you for your attention.